


And after that, the upwards fall

by risinggreatness



Series: Circle 'round the sun [18]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-19 00:09:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2367026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/risinggreatness/pseuds/risinggreatness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anakin’s early days of training with Qui-Gon are cut short</p>
            </blockquote>





	And after that, the upwards fall

When he looks back at Tatooine, Anakin doesn’t see a childhood home full of fond memories, he sees only a rock where he was tethered to one person or another.

There is no possible way to describe his joy when the planet is no more than a speck in the endless black. Years of watching the same sky, the same stars, the same damn suns, and he never dreamed the galaxy could be immeasurable. Anakin knows he cannot see every planet, every star, but he will try.

He only regrets leaving mom behind. She is the reason, for all those years, he never ran. He couldn’t abandon her then, but now she is safe; he feels no guilt in leaving, only in his unspoken decision never to return.

He hopes she might one day follow him; to see how many skies he’s touched.

Master Jinn spends whatever time he can with Anakin. He warns that it will be difficult, but he prepares Anakin for presenting his case to the Jedi Council. Regardless, Master Jinn promises him: he will be trained. Even though they haven’t appealed to the Council for approval, Master Jinn begins educating Anakin in the ways of the Force.

But the Jedi Master is often otherwise occupied and Anakin is left to his own devices.   He spends this time exploring and getting lost on the ship. He runs into trouble with the engineers and mechanics for “tampering” with “things” _he_ “knows nothing about;” the rest of the journey is wasted time.

When Anakin first glimpses the city planet, he mistakes it for a cluster of stars.

When they disembark the cluster is revealed to be millions of city lights. Anakin is sure as he stands transfixed there has never been a greater collision of systems and stars in the galaxy than Coruscant.

From here he can go anywhere and anywhere is here.

\----------

“If this boy is as connected with the Force, as you claim, Master Jinn, why is he not listed on the Kyber crystal?” Depa Billaba inquires. “It is rare for our information to be so woefully incomplete in this matter.”

“Our knowledge is not infinite, Master Billaba,” Master Yaddle admonishes.

They have been going back and forth for hours. Oppo Rancisis thinks the boy is too old. Mace Windu is concerned with Qui-Gon’s padawan track record; Saesee Tiin agrees. Adi Gallia and Plo Koon chide them both for insinuating a padawan’s master is the path to the Dark Side. Yarael Poof fears the Hutts will claim the boy as stolen property if he is trained and use him to spread their black market.

Only Even Piell sides with Qui-Gon; the rest have their private reservations. They cannot come to a satisfactory conclusion, on this, or any other matter.

Qui-Gon breathes deeply. This is why he never sought a seat on the High Council.

One thing does surprise him: Master Yoda has not said a word.

“You are all being ridiculous,” Even Piell interjects. “We take a gamble on every new padawan we choose. Why should this boy be any different? Because he’s too old? Absurd. We have had plenty of overage padawans trained before; most of them become even greater than their masters. Because he used to be a slave? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard. Even if the Hutts did try to reclaim him, he would be beyond the reach of their stubby little arms.”

He waves his own short arms to prove his point.

“As for Qui-Gon’s track record, Obi-Wan–”

“As for my track record nothing. Thank you, Master Piell. If there is need to defend it, I will, but this is not about my previous padawans. This is about whether this Council will allow a boy, with considerable potential, to be formally trained in the Force.”

Qui-Gon pauses to clear his throat. He doesn’t understand why he is fighting so hard for this, but he feels the Force led him to Anchorhead for a purpose.

Anakin is that purpose.

He doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know how. But Qui-Gon trusts in the Force and believes in the boy who was willing to leave everything behind for a chance.

“Master Yoda, what have you to say about all of this?”

The small green creature doesn’t speak at first. His creased brow furrows in contemplation. “Like to see this boy, first I would. Alone, if possible.”

The High Council is not prone to gossipy tendencies, but a murmur goes about the room as its members look at each other and the Master of the Order skeptically.

Most of the Council moves to leave, but not before Eeth Koth can protest one last time, “Master, would it not be more prudent for a decision such as this to be made by the whole Council?”  
“Let it go, Eeth. Master Yoda has made a request, we must respect it,” Ki-Adi-Mundi says gently.

Whatever decision Yoda makes will be final.

Qui-Gon is the last out of the chamber. In the hall, he finds Anakin and sends him in to meet with Yoda. He squeezes the boy’s shoulder for confidence and the door slides shut between them.

Qui-Gon feels the odds of having Anakin trained plummet. He could have convinced the Council, or enough of them, to allow the instruction, but he would never dare dispute Yoda’s decision.

The Council disperses, leaving Qui-Gon to wait alone.

It is a long wait, but it is not the length which concerns him. Yoda’ reactions throughout the session were disheartening. He is an impossible Jedi to read, his presence a thick fog.

Qui-Gon did all he could for Anakin. Now his fate is his own.

The door to the council chamber reopens. Anakin stands in the center, facing Yoda. Qui-Gon joins him.

“Train him, you may.”

Anakin looks to Qui-Gon, excitement in his face. He bows his head, “Will you accept me as your padawan, Master Jinn?”

“Of course, Padawan Skywalker,” Qui-Gon replies and returns the bow.   “Allow me a minute to speak with Master Yoda.”

He bows to both masters and exits. The door closes behind him. Yoda speaks.

“Train him, yes, but use wisely caution. A great and terrible power, he has.”

\----------

He hears rumors of the boy Qui-Gon brought back with him from his mission, those who know him well pester him for information about the mysterious boy, but Obi-Wan hasn’t met him. He hasn’t even seen Qui-Gon since he got back.

When Qui-Gon finally asks Obi-Wan to meet his new padawan, Obi-Wan is impatient.

He finds them in the library, on the day he and Qui-Gon arranged. The padawan looks annoyed with the book on Galactic law he reads. He can’t be more than fifteen, younger than the rumors claim. Qui-Gon wears his usual countenance of serenity.

Obi-Wan approaches them apprehensively, he doesn’t want to intru–

“What a load of crap!”

Never mind.

“Master Qui-Gon?”

Qui-Gon greets him, “Obi-Wan, come meet my new padawan, Anakin Skywalker.”

He gestures to the boy, who’s already forgotten his studies in favor of being introduced to someone new.

“Anakin, this is my former student, Obi-Wan Kenobi.” When he stands to shake hands, Obi-Wan understands why the rumors mistook his age.

They both sit down to join Qui-Gon at the table. Obi-Wan’s interruption appears to be exactly the distraction Anakin was looking for, “How old are you?”

“Twenty-one.”

“When did you graduate to Jedi Knight?”

“Earlier this year.”

Anakin snorts, “Does it take everyone as long as you to become a Jedi, or did you just require extra time?”

It takes all of Obi-Wan’s self-control to keep himself from smacking the side of Anakin’s head.

“Enough,” Qui-Gon orders. “Anakin, continue your lesson. Obi-Wan, I must speak with you.”

Obediently, Obi-Wan follows, but shoots a look back at the kid. Anakin rolls his eyes in response.

They are sufficiently out of earshot when Obi-Wan can no longer contain himself, “Him? You think that boy is so strong with the Force; it’s worth bringing him here to train him? And to overwork yourself?”

“Obi-Wan.”

“Is he that _charming_ all the time or just while he’s studying? He’s probably one of those boys who thinks they’re better and smarter than everyone else.”

“Obi-Wan.”

“I can’t imagine he’s very –”

“Obi-Wan!” Qui-Gon rarely raises his voice, it startles Obi-Wan.

“I’m sorry, Master. It’s just – I don’t understand what you see in him.”

“There was another young boy, I remember, who was very similar: hot-headed, rash, impatient. But he grew; he learned; he changed. And he is now one of the finest Jedi I know.”

Obi-Wan hangs his head, ashamed to think of what he was like at that age.

“Give him time. Anakin is young, he is in an unfamiliar place, and there are already too many people who don’t believe he is worthy enough to become a Jedi. Don’t be one of them. Give him a chance, as I gave you. He may surprise you.”

\----------

Training is rigorous, but Anakin is up to the task. He won’t let doubters be proven right.

It is a month before Master Qui-Gon allows him to hold even a practice blade. There is so much else to learn: procedure, history, science, Galactic law, and the ways of the Force ( _alter, sense, control_ ). Everything else makes wielding the blade ( _Form I: Shii-Cho, Form II: Makashi, Form III: Soresu, Form VI: Niman_ ) the easy part.

Throughout, Anakin discovers more than he expects to about his teacher. The reassuring, peaceful exterior is just the surface.

The more Anakin learns about his master, the greater his respect for the man grows.

He was taught by a Jedi, unparalleled in skill with a lightsaber, named Dooku, who lost faith in the Jedi Order and left, not long after Qui-Gon earned the rank of master. Before Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon took only one other apprentice, a boy who walked straight into the arms of the Dark Side.

Both betrayals weakened his devotion to the Force. He swore never take another padawan; until Obi-Wan.

Anakin cannot understand, cannot feel, the particulars of their relationship, but it is strong.

His master’s former student is around so often Anakin is beginning to like him. They clash on a regular basis, yet he finds they have more in common than he initially realized.

He likes the friendly competition with Obi-Wan. He likes bantering with Obi-Wan. He likes proving to Obi-Wan that he can do this – he likes proving Obi-Wan wrong. He likes that Obi-Wan helps him through his more difficult studies. He likes that Obi-Wan doesn’t mind he started training too late. He likes that he can talk to Obi-Wan. He likes that Obi-Wan is around.

The friend Anakin never had.

Anakin groans dramatically, while studying the history of the Great Hyperspace War, causing Obi-Wan to look up from whatever it is he’s doing.

“Problem, Skywalker?”

“No,” he shoots back defensively. Obi-Wan goes back to whatever. Anakin stares, impatiently. ( _How can anyone sit so still?_ )   Silence is giving him a headache.

“Actually, yeah. I can’t take any more history lessons right now. Practice with me.” He immediately stands up and heads for the door. Obi-Wan doesn’t move.

“I’m working.”

“Finish it later, Kenobi. Let’s go.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be learning about patience?”

“I studied for an hour.”

“But we both have more to do. Sit.”

Anakin sits, but doesn’t go back to his book. Irritating Obi-Wan is more entertaining. “What _are_ you doing?”

It is Obi-Wan’s turn to groan, he knows Anakin isn’t asking out of curiosity, “I’m not going to practice with you now, so what do you want?”

“Tell me how Master Qui-Gon became your master. He swore never to take another padawan, didn’t he?”

Obi-Wan stares at the wall, “I asked. I was a youngling, nearly past the age to become a padawan, there were no other masters taking apprentices. I had nothing to lose, and so I asked. It took some persuasion, but he accepted me.”

His voice trails off.

Anakin understands Obi-Wan more than he ever thought he could. They are the same: they want to prove themselves to Qui-Gon, they are indebted to him.

He took a chance on them, when nobody else would.

\----------

A shadow creeps across the galaxy. The elusive Sith Lord, Sidious, has set his apprentice loose.

The Jedi Council doubts the student will lead them to the master. Still, this is an opportunity not to be missed; Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are summoned to appear before them.

Over half of the seats are vacant. Only Masters Adi Gallia, Saesee Tiin, Ki-Adi-Mundi, and Yoda are present.

“We presume you have felt the growing presence of this Sith,” Mundi says.

Qui-Gon nods.

“What you may be unaware of is how close this new enemy is to us.”

Hearing of incidents often occurs after their presence is felt in the Force. It is the most reliable way to tell truth from rumor. It is not, however, an impeccable source for information.

“Darth Maul has been sighted on Corellia,” Tiin interjects. “The High Council has selected the pair of you to track down and eliminate this adversary. Master Gallia will brief you on the details of your mission.” The iktotchi gestures toward his fellow Council member.

He concludes, “May the Force be with you.”

Obi-Wan bows and makes ready to leave, but Qui-Gon stays put.

“Masters, I cannot accept this mission. I have a padawan. He is in the early stages of training, his curriculum is severely condensed, and he must have constant tutelage. I cannot leave him unattended at this time nor is he ready to accompany Jedi Knight Kenobi and myself on this mission.”

“Already considered Padawan Skywalker, we have.”

“I will supervise young Skywalker’s studies, if that is satisfactory with you, Master Jinn,” Mundi offers.

He bows and exits with Obi-Wan and Gallia. Qui-Gon’s concerns are alleviated, but not fully dismissed.

\----------

They are in the docking complex making ready to leave. Preparations are fast and short; time is of the essence if they are to catch Darth Maul. They travel light; Qui-Gon anticipates a chase.

The engines of the transport roar, readying to take flight. That’s when Qui-Gon spots Anakin coming toward the ship.

“Anakin, I’ve already told you, you must stay here.”

“But padawans are supposed to accompany their masters on missions – learn from experience.”

“Not this time.”

They’ve already had this conversation; by the looks of it, Anakin was hoping to stow aboard and remain hidden until it was too late to turn back.

“When I found you on Tatooine, I promised I would teach you the ways of the Force. I haven’t broken that promise and I don’t intend to. I will be back and we will continue your training.”

Anakin looks ashamed. He’s already figured out how to keep his mind closed; Qui-Gon doesn’t attempt to pry.

“Learn all you can from Master Mundi while I am away. There is much he can teach you that I cannot.”

His padawan nods, accepting the order.

“The Force will be with you, always,” Qui-Gon says and follows Obi-Wan onto the ship.

It is poor consolation for the boy; he doesn’t yet know how powerful an ally it can be. His faith will be tested and when it is, Qui-Gon is sure he will prevail.

\----------

Darth Maul finds them first: he leaps from above, separating the Jedi. ( _A rookie mistake._ )

His lightsaber ignites. A red blade; the favored color of those who spurn the Jedi Order.

The Sith apprentice dives toward Qui-Gon, but the Jedi is too quick and evades, drawing his own lightsaber. In rapid succession, red clashes with green; generating a deafening sound. Obi-Wan adds his own blade to the fray.

Maul raises his hand high in the air to strike at Qui-Gon, but his lightsaber doesn’t fall. Obi-Wan blocks the Sith from completing his stroke.

Red and yellow eyes glare at his new opponent; he smiles cruelly. From the hilt of his lightsaber a second blade hums to life. ( _Two blades for two enemies._ ) He spins, knocking Obi-Wan from his feet and continuing his ruthless assault on Qui-Gon, the young Jedi not worth his time. Their battle moves down a long, narrow hallway. Locked in a stalemate; neither is quick enough to overpower the other. Neither can take the advantage.

Obi-Wan chases after them, attacking Maul from behind. But he is fast, easily blocks everything they throw at him, and _still_ manages to strike at them.

The duel, the surroundings, and the Force: all else is forgotten.

The three of them fall into the rhythm of the battle, its sounds dangerously hypnotizing.

Obi-Wan breaks the pattern. He misses one parry to strike at a weak point, leaving himself defenseless. Maul doesn’t waste time blocking the thrust. Twin blades whirl through the air till one of them almost hits its target.

It is intercepted by another body. ( _No._ )

Qui-Gon’s limp frame falls back on his former padawan. “No! NO!”

He cannot hold Qui-Gon’s weight. Tossing his lightsaber aside, he falls to his knees trying to keep his master upright.

Maul laughs and turn his back on the two collapsing Jedi.

The pain of loss is infinite. The Jedi don’t teach that, it is something only experience can relate; it is why they discourage attachment.

Laughter rings in his ears.

Abandoning all his teachings, giving into pain, fueled by rage, Obi-Wan takes up Qui-Gon’s fallen blade and throws himself at Maul. The Sith turns just in time, but Obi-Wan relentlessly pounds away at the duel lightsaber until it snaps. Two useless pieces of junk remain in Darth Maul’s hands.

It is the Sith’s turn to be on his knees, at the mercy of Obi-Wan’s revenge.

He can feel it coursing through him: the hate, the anger, the fear. He has never felt power quite like this. He has never felt the Force quite like this. It terrifies him.

He can’t do it. He lowers Qui-Gon’s blade.

Taking advantage of Obi-Wan’s hesitation, Maul is on his feet again, Obi-Wan’s lightsaber summoned to his hand, and attacks. It is the only thing Obi-Wan can do to evade, he ducks and swings as Maul flies overhead. His body lands in two lifeless pieces.

Obi-Wan returns to the side of his dead master and cradles him to his chest. He feels empty.

Qui-Gon has no final words.

\----------

Qui-Gon breaks his promise.

He doesn’t return with Obi-Wan to continue Anakin’s training. His body is carried back to the Jedi Temple in a coffin, where it awaits final rites.

In the meantime, the entire High Council gathers, even those who are off-world, and confer for hours. They summon Obi-Wan to give an account of the occurrences on Corellia – to congratulate him – to give him their meaningless condolences. He is sent away after the first half-hour.

Anakin is left waiting. He doesn’t really think of anything while he waits.

He sits. When he can’t sit any longer, he paces. He tries to mediate briefly, but is easily distracted by what could be happening in the council chamber.

Finally, he is ushered into the room. Most of the Council walks past him, a couple of holos shut off. Masters Mundi, Yoda, and Windu remain.

Anakin is relieved Master Ki-Adi stays; his is a genial presence, one Anakin has grown familiar with. He doesn’t think he could stand before Yoda and Windu alone. He’s faced Yoda alone before; it is not something he’s ready to do again.

The Master of the Order is more intimidating to Anakin than a hundred swindled toydarians.

“The Council has decided to discontinue your training, young Skywalker, unless another master elects to take you as their apprentice,” Master Windu says firmly.

Anakin clenches his fist.

“By majority vote, Master of the Order abstaining, you are given this chance. By the end of this month you must either be under the tutelage of a new master or leave the Jedi Temple.”

He wishes Windu would gloat outright, instead of hiding it beneath his words. Windu opposed his instruction from the beginning and Anakin has done nothing to win the master’s favor in the past months.

He knows there are few masters open to considering him: the curse of starting his training too late.

He looks to Master Ki-Adi for some kind of support, any kind of help.

“I’m sorry, Anakin, I cannot take you as a padawan. Supervising your instruction while Master Jinn – the Force be with him – was away was only a temporary solution. I cannot devote the attention and time required for your training.”

“Mysterious the ways of the Force are. A new master you may find, or not, the will of the Force it will be.”

One broken promise and his life is up to the discretion of twelve men and women who don’t give a damn whathappens to him.

Anakin’s jaw sets.

\----------

It is easier to be alone these days. He feels no consolation in his defeat of Darth Maul. It was a hollow act in an attempt to save something greater than himself.

Jedi do not mourn, but grief comes anyway.

“I’m sorry.”

Obi-Wan looks up at the padawan without a master, his usual cocky manner abandoned.

“I know what you meant to him,” he doesn’t say the name, he doesn’t have to. They’ve both lost a teacher – a father.

“Jedi don’t form attachments,” Obi-Wan recites, more to himself than to Anakin. ( _Haven’t you learned that yet?_ )

“Even so, he was proud of you.” He sits down next to Obi-Wan.

The silence that follows is heavy. There is so much they could say to each other and none of it would make a difference. Obi-Wan is lost; the boy is rudderless. Qui-Gon was the only one who believed in either of them and Obi-Wan failed him.

“I heard about the Council’s decision. What are you going to do if you don’t get a new master?”

He shrugs, “I hadn’t really thought about it. Stay here, I suppose. I’m a decent mechanic, I could find work.”

“You wouldn’t go home?”

“No.”

Anakin’s face hardens. From the way he’s spoken about his home planet, Obi-Wan supposes he should have guessed as much.

They don’t speak for a long time.

In their silence, Obi-Wan considers Anakin. He is rash and hot-blooded and impatient, but smart and eager to learn. They have grown close since his arrival. They would make a strange pair: an inexperienced master and an out-of-place padawan. Still…

“What would you say if I offered to train you?”

They both lift their heads to look at each other. Obi-Wan doesn’t know what to expect until he’s staring Anakin straight in the eye.

His eyes are wide with hope, “You would do that?”

“I realize I’m not an ideal choice, but –”

His words are cut off abruptly by Anakin’s tightly squeezing arms. Obi-Wan is surprised by the fierce display of gratitude, but reciprocates.

 _Yes, I promise to train you, as best I can_ , is what he thinks, but he says, “We don’t have to start back at lesson one do we, Anakin?”

Anakin lets go and grins.

“I don’t know, _Master_. But, I think, somebody else will have to teach me that one because, I’m pretty sure, I felt you hug me back. 

“You certainly did not,” Obi-Wan scoffs.

Anakin rolls his eyes and grins wider. It’s infectious and Obi-Wan smirks back at him.

From now on, they’ll lean on each other.

**Author's Note:**

> See author bio for discussion on this 'verse.


End file.
